Clear Blue
by jooblee
Summary: Decim and Chiyuki finally admit their feelings for each other. However, Decim didn't anticipate the changes their relationship would cause. Chiyuki too didn't realise how difficult it would be to navigate through their newfound love. Will they manage to overcome the hurdles thrown at them by their unusual love for each other? Will Decim ever truly be human?
1. Chapter 1

He was captivating. Every smooth and purposeful movement he made, set something free in her. She would watch him from across the bar, her head resting in her hands and her eyes following him as he cleaned the seemingly endless supply of martini glasses. But it was on this specific evening, that something changed in their distant, yet somehow intimate, relationship. The elevators had just made that familiar sound and sent the two people that Decim had judged that day, into the dark depths of the void. They had both been deceiving, manipulating sociopaths, and Chiyuki was glad to be rid of them. She sighed and looked up at Decim.  
"The usual, please." She said, drumming her slender, pale fingers on the marble surface of the polished bar. Decim looked at her with his incredibly blue eyes and nodded.  
"Of course." He murmured, already pouring a clear golden liquid into a tall glass. She beamed up at him, flashing him her pearly white teeth. He slid the glass towards her and for a brief second his cool fingers touched hers. She blushed slightly and quickly pulled away. Decim turned his back to her and carried on with his bartender duties. She sipped at her drink, letting it warm the insides of her body. It slipped down her throat like oil, like a soothing balm, enabling her to talk more freely.  
"God, what a day." She muttered, rubbing her temples.  
"Indeed, what a day." He answered, giving her a fleeting glance over his shoulder. She downed her drink, in one long gulp, then slammed her glass back onto the wooden surface.  
"Another!" She exclaimed, already noticing the effects of her beverage. Decim turned around and eyed her.  
"Are we celebrating?" He asked, no sign of emotion showing on his face. She giggled and nodded. He paused, then mixed her another drink.  
"Thank you, Decim." She said, leaning a little more towards him.  
"My pleasure, Chiyuki." He replied, and she thought she detected a note of warmth in his voice. She downed her second drink.  
"Join me, Decim!" She asked, patting the empty barstool beside her. He froze, then continued drying the glass, that he held in his hand. He didn't reply. She frowned and gazed up at him.  
"You are asking me to join you in the consumption of expertly mixed long drinks?" He said. She nodded, her cheeks flushed and eyes bright. He set the dry glass down and poured himself a drink.  
"I would never deny you such a simple request." He stated, moving around the bar and sitting down beside her. She was surprised by his readiness and an ever brighter blush crept into her usually pale cheeks. They sat there in comfortable silence until Chiyuki set her glass down and struggled to her feet, wobbling slightly as she made her way to where Decim had been standing a few moments ago.  
"I thought this was going to be a joint enterprise," Decim commented. Chiyuki grinned at him and shook her head.  
"It's my turn." She said.  
After spilling four drinks and smashing a priceless bottle of whisky, Decim got up from his seat and made his way towards her. His cheeks were ever so slightly flushed, but his hands were strong and sure as he took hold of her elbows and steered her away from the splintered glass. She stood there uselessly as he began to mop up her mess. Even in her befuddled state of mind she realised that this was unfair and rushed towards him to help him, somehow managing to slip and fall to the ground. But just as her head was about to smash into the floor a hand gripped her arm and pulled her to her feet.  
The sudden movement caused her to crush against Decim's firm chest. His arm encircled her and she felt his quickened heartbeat, thump against her cheek.  
"Careful there, Chiyuki. Please don't fall." Decim murmured. She looked up at him, his messed up hair and wrinkled shirt catching her eye. There was a brief pause and then his lips were upon hers. She melted into his embrace, a tingling sensation spreading in her chest.  
Finally, she pulled away, her lips warm and her heart racing. He looked at her with a peculiar expression. His eyes were wide and gentle and his lips were pulled into a soft smile. She took another look at his irises and realised that they no longer had that eerie cross etched into them.  
"Decim." She whispered, her hand touching his cheek. She felt him lean into her hand and somehow this touched her more than their kiss.  
She didn't remember going to bed, but when she awoke the next morning, she was wrapped in her blanket and a pillow had been tucked beneath her head. A dull ache spread in her head as she sat up and she groaned. She needed to slow down with her alcohol intake. She climbed out of her bed and realised that she was no longer in her usual clothes but a comfortable robe. Her black skirt and shirt were nowhere to be found. And as she started to rummage around for something to wear, her memories of last night came flooding back. The sensational kiss she had shared with Decim. How they had danced around the bar (him leading her in a slow waltz), how she had fallen asleep against his chest mid-dance, and how he had carried her back into her room. She rubbed her eyes and couldn't help smiling. Finally, she found a presentable violet blouse and a slim pair of jet-black jeans, that complimented her long legs. She stepped into her heels and ran a brush through her tangled hair. Then she stepped into the hallway, realising that nothing was going to be the same.  
She walked towards the bar, where Decim was already standing.  
"Good morning, Chiyuki," he said. She beamed up at him, but her heart began to sink as she realised that his eyes were back to their usual state and the smile he had so openly given her last night was gone.  
"Good morning," she replied quietly, making her way to the back of the bar and fixing herself something to eat. Decim had set out a tray of delicious-looking food and she looked at him questioningly. He nodded and gestured for her to take it. She grabbed the tray and sat down opposite him.  
"Thank you." She murmured, taking a mouthful of salmon coated in cream cheese. Then he slid a green coloured drink towards her, again, betraying no sign of emotion. She raised an eyebrow in question.  
"You must be feeling quite ill after last night. You did consume quite a bit of alcohol." He stated. She nodded and accepted it. After a few sips, her headache receded. Decim continued to wipe down the already pristine bar.  
She was confused and hurt by his sudden lack of emotion. Had she done something wrong? Had he been pretending just to humour her? Did he regret kissing her? She was no longer hungry and neglected her food.  
"What is wrong? Are you feeling alright?" He asked plainly. She nodded but didn't look up at him. The coldness of his ice-blue eyes would just make everything worse.  
"We should get everything ready for our next guests." She said, hopping off of her stool.  
"I'm very sorry." He said from behind her. She whirled around, expecting him to break his facade and finally show her that he remembered their encounter last night. But he looked at her betraying no such thing on his face.  
"What for?" She asked, shrugging and forcing herself to smile nonchalantly.  
"I'm sorry that you are upset." he continued.  
"I'm not upset, OK, Decim?" She replied haughtily. He nodded then continued with his work. She exhaled slowly and straightened her blouse. Then a thought crossed her mind.  
"Do you know what happened to my clothes from last night?" She asked, still not looking at Decim.  
"Yes. I'm afraid you spilt one of your drinks on them, so I gave them to Clavis. He promised me to send them away to be washed. They will be back tomorrow morning. I hope it's not too much of an inconvenience." he explained.  
"No, of course not. Thank you." She mumbled awkwardly. Something was still bugging her. She paused then continued.  
"But I don't recall getting dressed last night."  
Decim paused then cleared his throat.  
"I took it upon myself to do it for you. You were in no state to do so yourself. I apologise if I overstepped a boundary." He replied simply.  
"No, of course not." She answered, then made her way to the elevator to make sure everything was in order. After all, there were people to be judged.  
As usual, it took a while for the couple to accept their current situation and after the usual threat of Decim's mannequins, they calmed down and accepted a drink. the roulette was spun and the game began. A game of chess began.  
Decim and Chiyuki stood silently watching over them. The woman was one of a nervous disposition and the husband was haughty and volatile. Chiyuki felt sorry for the woman. The game was slow and she could feel the two becoming ever more desperate to win. Memories came flooding back and so it began. The usual round of accusations and regrets. He was the first to realise that they were dead. Chiyuki hated this moment when all hope was lost and the will to keep pretending was thrown overboard. At this moment the truest, deepest depths of the human soul were revealed.  
"You drove me insane! With your constant worrying and your insatiable need for control. You ruined my life and killed the both of us in the process!" The man screamed, spittle flying from his mouth and landing on Decim's impeccable shirt. Decim didn't react, too engrossed in watching the humans play. She was sickened by the arbiter's morbid fascination with human sorrow and fury. These games were designed to push people to their limits and caused them to do things they never thought they would do.  
The woman wept and shook, unable to defend herself from his accusations. He knocked her pawn to the ground causing her to groan in anguish as one of her organs was manipulated to cause her pain. Finally, the game was over. She had lost and he had won. The woman crumpled together and the man laughed coldly. Decim led them to the infamous elevators and Chiyuki watched as the man plummeted into the depths of the void and the woman was sent away to be reincarnated. As it turned out, she had been traumatised as a child and had been unable to cope. Her husband had used her as an easy lay and had never truly loved her, cheating behind her back.  
After the whole ordeal, Chiyuki settled once more into her seat by the bar. Without needing to be asked, Decim set a drink before her. She nodded gratefully. After taking a few careful sips she looked at Decim. Holding eye contact, she said: "It's sad how blind people can become, no longer willing to see the hurt they cause the people who love them." She said to him. Then she knocked her drink back and walked back towards her room.  
It was quiet when she settled into bed. How different she was feeling now than the night before. She was tired yet somehow at the same time, she felt wide awake. She didn't know what she was going to do when her time ended here. And only now did she realise that she had secretly been longing to spend every second of that time with Decim. Warm tears pooled at the corners of her eyes as she realised that her wish would never be fulfilled. Decim was incapable of feeling love.  
She must have drifted off, for she sprang awake when she heard her door click. It was dark and she was disorientated. She rubbed her eyes and turned on the light on her bedside table. Decim was standing in the doorframe, hair unruly and shirt buttoned open. He looked uneasy and restless as he gazed at her.  
"Forgive me, Chiyuki, for interrupting your sleep, but I need to speak with you," he said, running a hand through his snow-white hair. He looked oddly cute when he did that. Chiyuki sat up and brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes.  
"Yes, of course. Come in." She whispered. He stepped in and closed the door behind him with a soft thud. He didn't sit, he just continued to stand there. She waited for him to begin and finally, he did.  
"I don't know-" he stammered, then cleared his throat.  
"I am confused by this feeling," he said. Chiyuki sat up. He took a step towards her bed.  
"Ever since you've arrived here in the Quindecim, I feel this tightness in my chest and every time you turn away from me I feel like I'm suffocating." he murmured, eyes looking to the ground. She climbed out from her sheets and walked the last few steps so that they were nearly touching. He was swallowing nervously and she was momentarily distracted by his smooth, white throat.  
"Chiyuki, I don't know what this feeling is." he murmured, and his eyes filled with tears, once again they were a clear blue.  
"Oh, Decim." She breathed, flinging her arms around him and burrowing her face into his lean shoulder. He froze, then his arm encircled her waist.  
"It's called love." She whispered into his shirt. He hugged her closer.  
"It frightens me." he breathed.  
"I am afraid too, Decim." She admitted, breathing in his clean scent. A mixture of mint and winter. She pressed her hand against his cheek and was surprised by its warmth. For the second time, their lips met and it was sweeter and softer than the one before. Chiyuki breathed his name as he kissed her neck and was consumed by his strong arms. One of his hands drifted into her hair and the other pressed into the small of her back. She sighed as his lips wandered to her collarbones. He pressed her into the door and grabbed her hands lifting them above her head and slamming them against the wooden surface. She moaned and writhed under his searching hands. He was breathing heavily and his heartbeat matched hers.  
"I've never felt this way before." He groaned. She kissed him back fervently and plunged her tongue into his mouth. He moaned slightly and grabbed her legs, wrapping them around his waist. She ripped her hands from his and started to tug at his already unbuttoned shirt. He threw it off and lifted her tank top over her head. Chiyuki was still getting used to the sudden passion Decim was showing when she was so used to his distant behaviour. He struggled to unclasp her bra and she realised that she must be the first person he had ever been this intimate with. She laughed lightly and helped him rip it off her. His eyes were hungry and his mouth wild. A sudden knock interrupted them. She groaned and climbed off of him. Decim exhaled slowly and began to button up his shirt again. She glanced at him apologetically and grabbed her top from the floor. Another impatient knock. She ushered him into the corner of her room, obscured from view by her closet and the heavy curtains at her window. She straightened her hair and gave her top a few more tugs. Then she gestured to Decim to keep quiet. He was wearing that professional expression that she knew so well. She breathed deeply and opened the door a crack. Nona was standing there, a bemused expression on her face.  
"Where's Decim?" She asked sternly. Chiyuki shrugged.  
"I don't know. Have you checked in his room?" She suggested. Nona rolled her eyes.  
"Of course I've fucking checked!" She exclaimed. Chiyuki shrugged again. Nona huffed angrily and flounced away from her door.  
"Clavis! Take me to Ginti! I need a drink." She heard Nona yell. Chiyuki turned around and was surprised to see Decim standing in front of her. His shirt neat and his hair tidy.  
"I'd better take my leave of you." He murmured. She nodded, showing her disappointment openly. He looked at her for a brief moment then tucked a lock of stray hair behind her ear. The movement was oddly mechanical but it made her beam up at him. A spot of colour appeared on his icy cheeks. He cleared his throat and exited the room, immediately returning to the bar. She inhaled and closed the door quietly.  
Another eventful day... and night, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Days passed as Chiyuki and Decim carried on with their familiar routine, sneaking into each other's room when the day came to a close and spending it in each other's arms. But they weren't subtle enough. Nona began to notice a change in Decim's composure. He was warmer more open. The way he looked at Chiyuki when she laughed or cried. Decim himself was finding it easier to understand the emotions the people, who visited the Quindecim, displayed so openly. Therefore, he was finding it harder to judge them distantly and scientifically. Chiyuki herself was delighted by the change. Every time he smiled at her she felt as if she would melt into a puddle of glee.  
But after one particularly trying trial, something changed. Decim was staring at her as she undressed, but not in a lustful way. His eyes were calculating and he bit his lip thoughtfully. She pulled her shirt over her head but paused as he raised a hand. He was lying on her bed, his shirt tossed onto the floor. She stopped and waited for him to speak. He didn't.  
"What is it? What's the matter, Decim?" She asked.  
"I'm memorising." He said quietly. She laughed and climbed on top of him, straddling him with her hips. She threw her shirt off and kissed his forehead.  
"What for?" She asked, biting his earlobe.  
"My mannequins. I've never fully understood how the female body is constructed." He explained. She sighed heavily.  
"Of course." She muttered. He paused and looked at her.  
"I am deeply sorry. I got distracted." He said, placing a warm hand on the nape of her neck and pulling her lips towards his.


	2. Chapter 2

As time passed, Chiyuki began to notice a more serious change in Decim. A melancholy fog had seemed to overcome him and she realised that he was finding it difficult to articulate how he felt.

It was quiet in the bar and this time Chiyuki was drying the clean glasses. Decim stood beside her, staring off into the distance. She looked up at him, brushing her fringe out of her eyes. He didn't notice her gaze and his eyes were distant. She brushed her fringe out of her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder. She could feel the silky material of his impossibly neat shirt. he blinked a few times, then turned around to look at her.

"Hey, everything alright?" She asked quietly. He paused, then nodded.

"Everything is in order, please forgive me." He murmured. She brushed his cheek softly.

"Tell me, what are you thinking about?" She said softly. He looked away. She pulled her hand away.

"Please, I do not want to burden you with my worries."

She looked at him with a stern gleam in her eye. He exhaled slowly then looked at her, his cool white bangs falling into his eyes.

"Chiyuki, it has come to my attention, that your time here is nearly over." He stated.

She froze, unsure of what to say. She had been trying hard to forget that fact. He looked her dead in the eye, and she saw that a tear was sliding down his pale cheek. She gasped and took a step back, shocked by his blatant display of emotion.

"Soon I must judge you and then, you will leave me." He said plainly, even though tears were now streaming down his innocent face. Her eyes widened and she pulled him into her arms, embracing him with all her strength.

"Please, Decim, don't think about that now. Not yet." She begged, her eyes beginning to sting and a lump forming in her throat. He buried his head into her shoulder and she felt silent sobs convulse through his entire being.

She hadn't realised. She hadn't realised that he was in so much pain. But he was right, it was soon going to be time for him to hold a trial over her. She closed her eyes and willed them to stay in this moment forever. She didn't want to waste a single second of the time she still had left with Decim.

He pulled away and looked at her with a hopeless look in his eyes.

"This...is sorrow, right?" He whispered. She nodded, drying a tear that still hung in the corner of his sky-blue eyes.

"It hurts." He breathed, clutching his chest.

"It is. it does." She replied quietly. He shook his head as if he was trying to shake away the burden he carried on his shoulders. His tears subsided and he straightened.

"Finally, I understand. I understand the hurt that the humans feel when I test them, how arbiters drive them to extremes. It's like a fire consumes you and refuses to let go until all that's left of you is a hollow shell of a human." He said. Chiyuki pulled his lips towards hers and kissed him softly.

"Not today." She whispered, cupping his cheek. He kissed her again, hugging her close.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's time." Decim murmured as the elevators opened and a middle-aged man with a confused expression on his face, stepped out into the hallway.

"What the hell is this?" He whispered to himself.

Decim cleared his throat and Chiyuki straightened up. It was time for yet another trial.

"Welcome to the Quindecim. Before I start, I would like to ask you if you remember your journey here?"

He took a step towards the bar and peered at Decim, obviously unsure of what to say. Decim explained the simple rules he always recited when a new guest arrived.

"Here's the fifth, most important piece of information I can give you. You will not be able to leave this place until you have finished playing the game." He finished in that monotone, soothing voice of his. Chiyuki glanced up at him and couldn't help but smile slightly, as she realised that Decim's shirt wasn't perfectly ironed. A small but subtle change, their relationship had caused.

"I don't understand. What do you mean I can't leave?" The man asked in disbelief, his thick, grey eyebrows shooting up. He had a relatively handsome face, but it had been affected by the scars that ran from his temple to his chin.

"I'm deeply sorry," Decim said, an authentic note of empathy in his silky voice. The man breathed heavily, then shrugged and gestured for them to begin. Weird, Chiyuki thought, he hadn't even tried the exit.

It was to be a game of mini-golf.

As usual, Chiyuki would have to participate in the game, whilst Decim held a trial over the unsuspecting man. This was always the case when only one human arrived in the elevator.

She gave a resigned sigh and prepared for the internal pain she would experience in this cruel version of a game she had always despised. But for some inexplicable reason, Decim seemed to give her just as much attention as he gave his guests. Somehow her actions fascinated him in a way he never seemed to be able to articulate. Now that she thought about it, he was probably focusing on her to prepare himself for her inevitable trial. She gave him a quick smile over her shoulder and rejoiced inwardly as he replied with an impish grin.

The way mini-golf was played in the Quindecim, was designed to test its players and bring out their darker streaks. Chiyuki smiled at the middle-aged man, positive he had no idea what was in store for him.

"What's your name?" She asked as Decim handed each of them a club. His had the eerie image of a brain carved into it, with an impossible amount of intricate details.

Her club had been decorated with the outline of what looked like a pumping heart.

"John." The man replied quietly.

Decim announced the rules and so the game began.

"Where do you come from?" The man asked as he prepared to putt. Chiyuki paused then articulated an answer.

"I'm not quite sure." She admitted. He shrugged, accepting her answer and deciding not to pry. He swung his club and hit the ball. Shee watched it arc elegantly and land with a soft thud, missing the hole by less than an inch. Chiyuki's hands flew to her head and she cried out in anguish. A sharp and relentless pain flared up behind her temples. John whirled around and apologised as he realised that his strike had been the cause for the unbearable pain she was now experiencing.

"Forgive me, I forgot to explain. Every strike with your club will cause your opponent excruciating pain in the organ inscribed on your club." Decim explained in a cool tone, but when Chiyuki looked up at him, she saw that his hands were balled into fists, his nails digging into his palms. He didn't like this any more than she did.

John was winning, but Chiyuki wasn't trying. She never did, she knew she didn't need to win, she knew that she was being analysed.

However, this game was getting to her. John would purposefully strike with a powerful blow, causing her head to nearly explode and would then apologise. It was getting old and she was beginning to see through his charade.

When it was once again her turn to bat she raised her club and hit the golf ball with such speed that it sailed through the air with a high pitched whistle, plopping into the hole with a satisfying pop. John clutched at his chest and groaned loudly, falling to his knees and closing his eyes in pain.

"I'm sorry." She said looking at him, not even trying to look apologetic. Then she looked at the scoreboard.

"Don't worry, you've won anyway."

She flounced away, standing next to Decim. He eyed her carefully as if he was making a mental note.

"What?" She snapped.

"I'm deeply sorry, I didn't mean to be impolite."

They looked at each other for a while, one of her delicate eyebrows raised, as if challenging him to speak.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" A voice asked suddenly, tearing them away from their staring contest.

"I'm afraid so, sir," Decim replied, bowing his head in remorse.

"Heart attack, Am I right?"

Decim nodded and she could once again see the genuine regret in Decim's eyes.

"I knew it! I knew it would come to this!" He suddenly snarled, banging his fist against the wall. He pointed a finger at Decim.

"The whole world is fucked, you hear me? Fucked! Everybody is so obsessed with their own life, they don't realise how infuriating they are." He yelled. Decim didn't reply and Chiyuki knew that he was preparing to use the silvery threads for restraining dangerous guests.

Chiyuki's head was still throbbing, so she wasn't feeling an ounce of sympathy for the entitled jerk in front of her.

"The game has ended. It is time for you to leave."

"To hell with this ridiculous game! If I leave where do I go?" John bellowed.

Decim's face betrayed no sign of emotion.

"You have entered the afterlife. It is now my job to judge you. I will decide if you go to heaven or hell." Decim explained.

Chiyuki thought she heard the vein in John's forehead pop. Colour flooded into his face and his fists shook in fury.

Well, of course, he was going to die of a heart attack, Chiyuki mused.

"I repeat, sir, your time here has come to an end. I have made my decision." Decim continued.

A roar of fury filled the room and before Decim could detain the man, he had smashed a bottle from the bar and was now pointing its jagged edges at Chiyuki's throat, her body trapped by the arm he had slung around her neck.

"And so have I. I promise I will hurt her if you don't do exactly as I say. I know she can't die, but I can make her wish she could." He snarled, a twisted smile taking hold of his thin lips.

Decim froze and she could hear his sharp intake of breath.

"Please, let her go." He murmured softly. His eyes were wide and his hands shook as he took a step towards them. John raised his makeshift weapon threateningly and Decim stopped walking.

"Ah, ah." He jeered. Chiyuki looked at Decim, oddly calm for some reason.

"Decim, please don't let him manipulate your judgement. I will heal if he harms me." She said, looking at him steadily. Decim ignored her words and looked at John instead, a pleading look in his eyes. John sneered at him, the sharp glass now poking at Chiyuki's tender skin. She swallowed involuntarily, the movement causing the shard to nearly pierce her flesh.

"I'm going to step into the elevator now, and you're going to send me to fucking heaven. If I know you're not fucking with me, I'll let her go. No harm caused. If you don't, I'm afraid I'll have no other choice, but to hurt her. I'll hurt her bad." John said, stepping backwards. Decim nodded and raised his hands in surrender.

"For god's sake, Decim! Use those fucking spider things!" Chiyuki hissed. She couldn't believe that he was going to let himself be manipulated like this. For all she knew he owned this place. In her eyes he was like a god here, controlling everything. Decim once again refused to reply. John's spittle was dripping onto Chiyuki's neck and she shuddered.

"You made the right choice," John said, seeing the pure face of an angel adorned above the doors of the elevator. Decim looked to the floor.

"Please, just let her go." He whispered. John shoved Chiyuki away from him and she fell to her knees. She had little more than a second to whirl around as the doors closed in front of her, and she watched in shock as the angel's head morphed into the fiery face of a devil.

She groaned loudly and flopped onto her back. Decim stood behind her, still not saying a word.

"You knew?" She breathed. The silence behind her spoke more than a thousand words.

You knew that you could send him into the void the entire time he was threatening to behead me?" She yelled, rushing to her feet and pounding her fists against Decim's chest.

"You bastard! I was terrified!" She shouted. For some odd reason, tears were streaming down her chest. Her furious punches subsided and she broke down, clutching at the soft material of his well-tailored shirt.

"You haven't changed, have you? After all this time, you're still a calculating, coldblooded arbiter."

"Chiyuki, please." He finally responded, his voice breaking. She shook, unable to let go of him.

"I had to. It's in my nature to judge people, and he was finally showing the deepest, darkest-" Decim continued. Chiyuki pushed past him and walked towards her room.

"You ruined it Decim. Nona was right, you will never be able to experience true human emotion." The door of her room closed with a soft thud and she let herself fall against the cool surface. What now?


	4. Chapter 4

"Forgive me."  
"No."  
"Please, forgive me."  
"No, I can't."  
"I didn't realise."  
"I know, and that's exactly what I can't forgive."  
Decim stopped wiping down the bar and turned towards her. She was currently enjoying her favourite cocktail. Memento Mori. She didn't know why she was so hurt. Why she refused to accept his apology.  
"Decim, please, I don't understand what happened in that last judgement, but something changed. I'm sorry, but I can't explain it. I wish I could, but I can't." Chiyuki said, staring at her reflection in the clear blue liquid. Decim looked at her, his head cocked to the side.  
"What emotion are you experiencing, right now?"  
Chiyuki chuckled slightly, then thought for a moment. What was she feeling?  
"I guess, I feel sad." She replied, finally holding eye contact with him. Decim's brow furrowed and he paused, his lips moving as if trying to find the right words.  
"Why would you feel sad?" He asked, genuinely confused. She exhaled exasperatedly.  
"Because you used me, Decim! You used me to judge that asshole, you didn't care about how terrified I was. And the fact that you could pretend to be so worried about me scares me even more!" She cried, her hands raised in frustration. Decim swallowed and looked to the floor.  
"Is that all this has been? A charade?"  
"No," Decim muttered.  
"You don't care about me?" She continued.  
"I do," Decim said a little louder.  
"You're just using me to experience human emotion in some sick, twisted way?"  
"Stop!" Decim suddenly shouted. She froze and dropped her drink. Decim's hand grabbed the hilt of the glass before it smashed to the floor. With one swift movement, he placed it back in front of her, not a single drop had been spilt.  
Decim's eyes were filled with tears and his hands were once again balled into fists. His shoulders shook as he tried to formulate his words.  
"I understand that you can't forgive what I have done, but please, don't ever say such things again." He said, his voice harsh.  
She didn't know how to reply. Instead, she looked at her hands, clenching and unclenching fingers.  
"I will now take my leave of you." He stated, turning away from her and heading to his room.  
She sat there, alone at the bar, finishing her drink in one quick motion. A headache was beginning to pound its way into her head and she groaned, resting her head on her forearms. Her encounter with John was still taking its toll. She heard footsteps behind her but she was too tired to lift her head and greet Nona.  
"I see you had a little disagreement with Decim." She said in that cool voice of hers. Nona reminded Chiyuki of a cat, slinking around its prey before it pounced and bit the mouse in the head. A weird simile but somehow very fitting.  
"Yes, we did." She replied, finally turning to look at Nona. She had a disapproving expression on her calm and collected face. Nona tutted slightly and sat down beside her.  
"What about?"  
Chiyuki sighed and massaged her temples. She didn't want to reply because it seemed so silly.  
"I don't know-" Chiyuki began but Nona lifted a finger in a patronising manner and Chiyuki bit her lip, reluctantly.  
"I don't even want to know what happened, Chiyuki, but you should know, that Decim has changed." Nona began, placing a firm hand on Chiyuki's shoulder. This movement was unexpected and she froze.  
"I don't know how much and what these changes will bring. I honestly don't even think that Decim understands what's happening with him. However, I ask you with all due respect to give him time. Give him time to become the person he wants to be." Nona murmured, a sudden warmness creeping into her buttery voice.  
Chiyuki nodded, somewhat confused by her words.  
"I promise you, that you will enjoy the result." She finished.  
Chiyuki's cheeks flared and her skin began to prickle as she digested Nona's words.  
"Decim is not an experiment. He is not a result. He ís a person with human emotions and I ask you to refrain from talking about him in such a way." She hissed. Her anger was justified and she got up from her stool.  
"He is an arbiter, Chiyuki, he will never fully be able to understand emotions. He will learn to pretend, though. And his act will be enough to fool you." Nona retaliated, heading towards Cöavis, who was already waiting for her in the elevator.  
"You're wrong." Was all Chiyuki could reply before Nona disappeared behind the iron doors. Chiyuki ran a hand through her hair, deciding on what to do next. Then she headed into Decim's room, closing the door behind her.  
Decim was sitting on his bed, his head resting in his hands and his bowtie unfastened, hanging loosely around his unbuttoned shirt. She sat down beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. She leant into his shoulder, inhaling his unique scent.  
"I was wrong and irrational." She murmured into his ear. He shook his head, not looking up at her.  
"I'm sorry." She whispered. He took hold of her face and pressed his lips against hers, warm and needy. She responded immediately, tangling her hands into his soft hair. She pulled away, coming up for air. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.  
"Chiyuki."  
She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed the bridge of his nose.  
"Can we please just forget everything? Everything that you and I said." She pleaded, straddling his hips with her knees.  
"Of course, there is nothing that I would like more." He replied, placing a hand on her back and pulling her even closer towards him. She had missed her evenings with Decim, and now that it seemed like they were back on good terms, she was craving for his soft lips and his gentle caress. She leant forward, pushing him down until his head was resting on his white linen pillow. Her lips wandered down to his neck and he gasped slightly as she pulled at the skin of his throat with her teeth. His lips searched hers and they crushed against each other once more. Her trembling fingers began to unbutton his shirt and his hands found her waist. They lost each other in their embrace and she was brought back to the surface by an obnoxious knock at the door.  
She whipped around immediately, her hair tangled and cheeks flushed. Clavis was standing at the door, looking incredibly flustered.  
"Oh dear, oh, I didn't mean to interrupt. Oh dear." He stammered, somehow unable to shut the door and walk away. Chiyuki climbed off Decim and rushed towards the door.  
"We'll be out in a sec, OK? OK." She said slamming the door shut. Her head rested on the frame and she exhaled slowly. Tender hands took hold of her hands and turned her around. Decim kissed her softly, and she was reminded of that first night in her room.  
"Clavis saw us. He's going to tell Nona." She stated plainly, still in shock. Decim's lips grazed her jawline and she shivered slightly. A quiet knock pulled them apart once more. She pushed past Decim and grabbed the shoes she'd discarded before. Decim buttoned his shirt and straightened his shirt.  
"I'll deal with Clavis," Decim muttered quietly as they stepped outside. Chiyuki looked at him doubtfully, slightly unsettled by the ominous tone in his voice.  
"What do you mean?"  
Decim looked confused and smiled down at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and stroking his thumb over her cheek.  
"I am going to converse with him and ask him kindly to refrain from telling Nona about our relationship." He explained as they walked into the hallway, where Clavis was standing, nervously rubbing his arm.  
"Hello, Clavis, how can I help you?" Decim said, his voice loud and clear in the tall corridor. Clavis looked up and smiled slightly, his cheeks a deep shade of pink.  
"I'm so sorry for intruding, but Nona's looking for you, and she sent me to find you." He blurted out, running a hand through his multi-coloured hair.  
"Please, don't apologise, Clavis. Why is Nona looking for us?" Decim pressed, not afraid to take hold of Chiyuk's hand. Clavis' eyes bulged slightly as he absorbed this simple gesture.  
"She wanted to talk to you, Decim, about your next judgement."  
Decim nodded in a friendly manner, and Chiyuki was surprised by his odd calmness.  
"Well then let's go. Chiyuki, can you take care of the bar for a while?" Decim asked turning towards her. Chiyuki nodded, flustered by the warm smile on his face.  
"Oh, and before we go, Clavis, please don't tell Nona about Chiyuki and my relationship."


End file.
